Smile
by mrs.molesley
Summary: What was originally posted as a single piece as a response to the Downton Canon Prompt Challenge by mistressdickens on tumblr has turned into a series of Baxley centered one-shots and elaborations on canon Baxley scenes. Of course, other characters are mentioned but with no particular significance, yet.
1. Smile

This is my reply to MistressDickens' Downton Canon Prompt Challenge on tumblr

I chose that post courtroom scene between Molesley and Baxter because I've never read about that one before and because I always enjoyed the small moment when he makes her smile even though the actual trial was so very different from what Miss Baxter had imagined it to be.

„People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

That quote inspired me to give this challenge a try. With that Coyle business around, there was always some subtle darkness about Miss Baxter and if anybody would be able to see that sparkle, still, it would be Molesley.

Of course, I don't own Downton Abbey or any characters.

* * *

The trial had ended only minutes ago and now, Mr. Molesley was sitting on one of the benches just outside the courtroom. It would take a few minutes for Miss Baxter and Sergeant Willis to join him, but Molesley didn't mind. Not after the trial had taken such an unexpected turn in the last minute.

 _They were probably telling Miss Baxter just right now, that she wouldn't have to make an official statement_ , Molesley thought. He was glad that she wouldn't have to face Coyle, after all. Even though he was still convinced that agreeing to be a character witness had been the right thing for her to do, Molesley was happy that Miss Baxter would now be spared the trouble.

He still remembered her words as if she had said them yesterday and not a few weeks earlier.

„ _But he has changed me."_

Miss Baxter didn't have to tell him that seeing Coyle across the courtroom, speaking about her past in front of so many people, would be terribly difficult for her. Molesley suspected as much. It would have hurt him, too, to know that such a kind and decent person like her had to go though such troubles.

He had noticed, how quiet and downcast she had been in the days leading to the trial. This whole business seemed to cast a shadow over her that hadn't been visible since her early days at Downton Abbey. Again, she had distanced herself from the others downstairs as if even so much as the thought of that despicable man was enough to surround her with darkness.

Molesley was the only one she had confided in. He was glad that she seemed to trust him when she kept everybody else at bay, giving even the Bates's only as little information as possible about her role as a witness in a trial.

 _Mrs. Hughes must know more, as well_ , he thought when he remembered something she had told the Sergeant earlier, when he had come to the Abbey to pick them up. „ _She's in a frail frame of mind"_ , the housekeeper had said.

 _Frail_ , yes, that had been the word he had been looking for lately when thinking about Miss Baxter. Her emotional state had been so frail, almost like fine glass you were afraid to touch in case it might break.

Looking up, Mr. Molesley's musings were interrupted when he saw Miss Baxter walking towards him. He stood up to greet her, but she addressed him first.

„Did you hear?", she asked without hesitation when they met in the middle of the room.

That he changed his plea, yes?", He nodded, then babbled on, „I was in court, I've only just come out", pausing, he sighed, „I expect, when he heard that you turned up, he must have known it was pointless."

„So, I've been spared", she reflected, still a bit unsure about the turn of events. Her face had turned into a look that didn't give away whether she was relieved or more disappointed.

Molesley didn't quite know what to make of her statement. He didn't like it when things were unsure, it made him nervous and he had to chuckle when he wanted to know, „How do you feel?"

„In one way, I feel relieved, 'cause the newspapers won't find me and there'll be no repercussions." Miss Baxter started to explain, leaving Molesley with the feeling that there was more to it.

Encouraging her to move on, he asked, „But?" tilting his head a little to one side.

She frowned slightly when she elaborated, „I suppose I'd worked myself up to facing him across the courtroom. This man ruined my life and now it feels a bit – anticlimatic."

Molesley watched her, a little taken aback by her words. Then, after a short moment of contemplating his voice turned into a joking tone when he suggested, pointing to the courtroom, „Should I go back in, ask him to plea _'not guilty'_ , after all?"

„No, thank you", Miss Baxter assured him with a hint of a smile. A truly honest and thankful smile that made him so nervous, he automatically had to giggle at his own joke.

Molesley could hit himself for his awkward personality. He wouldn't be surprised if someday soon, he would fall over his own two feet in another fit of nervousness. But in this moment, he didn't care too much. Miss Baxter had smiled on a day that had been until now so exhausting for her. It felt as if the whole room had lightened up a little and a part of that shadow had been lifted from her soul. He knew that she could not see it yet, herself. It would take a lot more for her to grasp that she could leave the darkness behind. But that tiny sparkle that made her beautiful eyes shine had been there.

„We should leave, Sergeant Willis is fetching the car", Miss Baxter told him after a moment. Molesley helped her into her coat and together they made their way outside. He left the building with a spring in his step that hadn't been there before.


	2. Nothing else but You

I gave the tumblr Downton Canon Prompt Challenge by mistressdickens another try, because some of those quotes are really more beautiful every time you read them.

It's another Molesley/ Baxter scene extension, of course, because apparently, according to some people, there isn't enough Baxley out there.

I always felt that their „goodbye scene" when Molesley tells her that he's made a decision on becoming a real teacher was rather unfinished, so I decided to give them a little more time.

* * *

„My life began with you, and my future goes on with you – there's nothing else."

\- James Hilton, Random Harvest

* * *

„While you were away, I -", he approached her in the hallway behind the kitchen with the strangest mix of reluctance and enthusiasm that was just typical for Mr. Molesley.

„Decided to accept Mr. Dawes's offer", Miss Baxter interrupted him, before he even had time to contemplate how to put the news into coherent words, and smiled up at him. The promptness of her reaction made it clear that she had expected nothing else. Still, she pointed out the obvious. „I knew you would, and I'm glad."

Lately, the natural soft tone of her voice had become accompanied by a light-heartedness of someone who didn't have any troubles in the world. Which most likely was, how she must have felt, now that she had left that whole Coyle business behind her, Molesley pondered.

He was happy for Miss Baxter, because leaving her past behind her gave her the opportunity for a new beginning. Still, a tiny part of him thought that it wouldn't have hurt her to sound a little bit less enthusiastic about his leaving. It was then that he noticed the similarities: Both of their lives had taken a turn for the better, recently. His new start as a teacher held as much a chance of happiness in store as her forgetting Coyle did.

Miss Baxter had once told him, that his strength had made her strong. But he knew that she had been the source of his strength at least as much and he knew if there was one thing that he didn't want to change, it was the friendship they had built up. She had been at his side, encouraging him and guiding him when he, himself, had been at a loss for words, and it made her dearer to him than he could allow himself to voice in a corridor with maids and hall boys possibly lurking just around the corner.

Still, Molesley had to make sure that she somehow knew how important she was to him. What would his future be without her, when it had been her who had made him look forward to his future in the first place? Molesley had been used to feeling left out his whole life, that is until Miss Baxter had called him lucky and assured him that his life was worthwhile.

„Oh, we won't lose touch, I-I'll walk up here often", Molesley stuttered in a high-pitched voice, barely concealing his nervousness.

„No, we won't lose touch. You can be sure of that." It was said with a simplicity that anyone passing by would have thought it nothing more than a silly reassurance. But to Miss Baxter it was more of a silent promise and by the look of it, Mr. Molesley had understood it as such.

He smiled but the look in his eyes was downcast and almost regretful, and she wondered if he was having second thoughts about leaving Downton for good. She knew she was sad to see him leave. But the melancholic feeling of letting him go was overcast by a much more positive emotion – she was truly happy that his dream had come true in the end. As she had told him once before, this was his moment. Finally, Mr. Molesley would be where he had always wanted to be and she would make sure that his goodbye from service was going to be a cheerful affair. She wouldn't stand in his way.

After all, they would still see each other, just like he had said, of that Baxter was sure. She imagined herself walking to the village between luncheon and tea to visit him at the schoolhouse, or Molesley helping out from time to time during large dinners at the Abbey.

She hoped against hope that this would be enough for her when she knew it wasn't. Thoughts were running wild in her head, now, of Mr. Molesley starting a new life in his cottage, meeting new people, moving on. And slowly, they would be losing touch – they wouldn't be able to keep their promise, no matter how much they wanted to.

Baxter realized suddenly that she had to do something soon or Molesley would turn around and leave to polish some silver or serve dinner or something, and the moment would be gone.

„Mr. Molesley", she called him, reaching out her arm to grab his sleeve, but then paused in mid-air, unsure if the touch would be welcome. „I want you to know, I will miss you when you're gone. It won't be the same without you."

„Oh, but I won't be gone. I told you I will be around", Molesley reassured her.

„Still, it will be strange not being able to talk to you every day. It was your support that gave me the chance of a new beginning, after all." Baxter wanted to tell him all the things she would miss about him and how much she _really_ would miss his company. But even if she had found the words to express her feelings, she wouldn't have had the courage to say them. Their relationship was so dissatisfyingly undefined that every possible step forward seemed too bold.

Being the nice, unsuspecting person that he was, Molesley shook his head in disbelief when he replied, „You're strong on your own, and with Mr. Barrow gone and – well,...you left the other thing behind you, too – you don't need support."

„Maybe not", Baxter sighed, and added after a short moment, „Maybe it's just you I need."

Molesley blankly stared at her, his mouth slightly open. He blinked. He didn't say a word. In fact, he showed no reaction whatsoever up to the point that Baxter wondered if she had said those words out loud or if he was still waiting for her reply.

After a minute or so, the situation was on the edge of becoming rather ridiculous. Apparently, Molesley was at a loss for words, whether that was a good sign or a bad one, Miss Baxter couldn't say. To spare them both any further embarrassment, she sighed loudly and wanted to make her way back to the servant's hall when his words stopped her.

„Phyllis... I-I mean, Miss Baxter, I don't know what to say", stating the obvious was such a silly, Molesley thing to do that Baxter found his rambling endearing, „it's just, this was unexpected."

„Was it, though?" Baxter asked him, slightly taken back. „Because the thing is, you didn't only change my life, my life really began with you. And I want my future to go on with you – because there's nothing else, nothing else I want more than to be with you. But if this is not what you want, if you rather want things to remain as they were, then that's okay. Then I will be your friend forever, because I want you to be happy." It had been a long time since Baxter had been anything but comfortable around Molesley but in that moment, she was more than nervous. With her little speech she had given him the power to decide where they would go from there.

This time, though, he didn't take as much time to give her an answer as he did before and for that alone she was thankful. Also, this time he was much more confident and his voice was steady.

„I must admit, I'm still overwhelmed because this literally was the last thing I expected", Molesley gave her a one-sided grin and she nodded, gesturing him to move on, „You are so much better with words than I am. I could have never expressed it so accurately when in fact, I feel exactly the same about you. And I'd be the happiest person, if you had me. Not just as a friend."

Baxter hadn't even noticed that she had been holding a breath. Molesley beamed at her, most likely reflecting her own stupid grin that was plastered on her face. It must have been a pretty stupid picture, Molesley standing there in the deserted hallway with his arms dangling around him and herself across from him, clinging to one of her Ladyship's dresses, both smiling like children who had been offered candy for dinner.

As if on cue, to prevent any improper behaviour, Mr. Carson's voice reached their ears, „Mr. Molesley, should I ask the dinner party to come down to the kitchen and help themselves? You are not being paid to entertain the ladies maids!"

Molesley's head shot down immediately and his smile froze. When he hurried to the kitchen to fetch a tray, Baxter noticed how red his ears had turned at Carson's reprimand. Thank God, Carson didn't have the slightest idea that his scolding might have been anything but innocent.

* * *

Let me say thank you again to the people who reviewed „Smile", special thanks go to Teresagreen, whom I can't reply to in a PM because she's only a guest. I really appreciate that you are a devoted reviewer.

\- lizzie


	3. Bold steps

A/N: This is not supposed to be regarded as a continuation of the previous chapter but another one-shot. This is more of a reflecting Molesley – thing, with him maybe being a little less hesitant towards the end than he normally might be. Nothing extreme though, because I just don't think that being too bold would be in his character.

Of course, Downton Abbey and the characters aren't mine. Seriously, would I be writing this if they were?

* * *

What a week it had been, Mr. Molesley wondered in awe, thinking about those last few days that he had spent at Downton Abbey. Christmas had been as magical as always with a big Christmas tree and servants, workers and the Crawley family enjoying the special atmosphere together while the children were running around among them. Then, there had been the beautiful wedding of Lady Edith today. And now, on the brink of a new year dawning, a new life had just begun. The news that Anna had given birth to a healthy baby boy had reached the downstairs only a few minutes ago and naturally, it had cheered up everyone in attendance even more.

All those very recent developments made him think of the changes that the last year had had in store for him. A few months ago Molesley would have never thought his place to be anywhere but in service, probably even not anywhere else but Downton Abbey. Who had thought that his helping Daisy with her studies would lead to the biggest change of his own life, too? Certainly not himself. True, it had been a bold step for him to leave his position in service for good, at and his age. But it had been more than worth it. Now, thinking back of his time at Downton Abbey, and even of that before when he was still a butler in the Crawley house, it all felt like a lifetime ago.

Molesley didn't look back with any regrets. He had always wanted to be a teacher, even as a kid. But then, he had to leave school at the age of twelve in favor of taking on small jobs here and there because they had needed the money. So, being a teacher had stayed a dream – one of those dreams you didn't get frustrated with because you just knew would never come true and you were fine with that.

What an unexpected turn it had been when one day, while he was strolling through the village alongside Miss Baxter, Mr. Dawes had approached them and offered him a job as a proper teacher. Molesley remembered how dumbfounded he had been and how it had been Miss Baxter who had talked to the head teacher in his place, reassuring him that he would indeed think about the offer.

Mr. Molesley pondered whether he would ever have found himself bold enough to take such a chance if it hadn't been for Miss Baxter. After all, it had been her who had given his confidence a boost with her unwavering faith in him. He was so glad that he had her by his side because, if he was being honest to himself, he had to admit that he would never have found himself able to even consider changing professions. He would still be mousy, awkward Mr. Molesley who stumbled over his words as much as he stumbled over his feet. Miss Baxter really had brought on a change in him, a change for the better, when she had believed in him and his abilities.

If there was one thing he regretted about leaving Downton behind, it was not seeing Miss Baxter as often as he wanted to. Since he had become a teacher he was barely around the big house anymore, only occasionally finding the time to make his way up there for a friendly chat or a cup of tea with his former colleagues. So it had been a pleasant surprise when she had visited him in his little cottage only two days before Christmas, and had asked him whether he would like to spend Christmas there, helping out as a footman again. There was no way he could have said no to her watching him with those big eyes and a bright smile.

She had become dearer to him during the past months than Molesley would have dared to admit while they had both been working together. Even though it probably wouldn't have been as improper at Downton Abbey as it would be in other households for a footman to declare his more than amicable feelings for one of the maids, he definitely couldn't have helped it not to be frightened of being lectured for indecent behaviour.

The circumstances were different now, though. Molesley was in a completely different position now and nothing was keeping him from taking yet another bold step. Nothing, except his own inhibitions. Taking a risk had paid off, once. But this time, the stakes were so much higher. There had been nothing to lose when Molesley had decided to become a teacher. There had always been the certainty that he could have returned to be a footman in case he had found out that teaching wasn't for him.

There was no backup plan this time, though. They wouldn't be able to turn back to the trusted companionship if his affections were not reciprocated. And secondly, he didn't have Miss Baxter at his side this time, always around to push him in the right direction whenever nerves had overcome him and deprived him of his ability to make a choice for himself. He couldn't quite well ask for her advice in this matter.

He was taken out of his reveries when a glass was shoved in front of him. Molesley looked up, it was Thomas handing out cups filled with punch to everyone who had gathered around the large table in the servant's dining hall. It was almost midnight now and people were preparing to welcome the New Year properly. Even Thomas appeared uncharacteristically cheerful – but of course, he would be, with the prospect of returning to Downton Abbey as the new butler.

Taking the cup and muttering his thanks to Barrow, Molesley turned his head around clumsily, frantically scanning the room for one Miss Baxter. Barrow approached him once more and remarked, with an amused grin that he didn't even try to hide, „She's not here yet. Her Ladyship wanted something so she went back upstairs."

„Wh-what?", Molesley asked in a nervous, high-pitched voice, his head bolting around to face Thomas. He hated being caught by Thomas, of all people. Not that the stuttered half question did anything to hide his embarrassment. The butler only shook his head ever so slightly, though, and returned to distributing the punch. Through the chattering of the other people in the room, Thomas' muttered words sounded suspiciously like „ _pathetic_ ". Molesley looked down, possible searching for a hole in the floor to hide in. Who was he fooling anyway, when Barrow was right – he did want to welcome the new year with Miss Baxter around.

Only when he heard Mrs. Patmore talking to someone behind him, did he turn around to notice the woman who had occupied his thoughts once more standing in the door frame. „Oh, there you are, Miss Baxter! Mr. Barrow here almost feared that you wouldn't make it down again in time", Mrs. Patmore exclaimed.

That woman really had her ears everywhere, she must have overheard snippets of what Thomas had said to him earlier. Molesley would have been annoyed if he hadn't been so relieved that she obviously had interpreted the short conversation wrong.

But Thomas wouldn't be Thomas if he just left it at that. „It wasn't _me_ who was afraid you'd miss midnight!"

Miss Baxter shook her head at his teasing and walked into the room, all the way smiling happily at Molesley. „Don't mind him", she whispered when she had reached Molesley's side, shaking her head once more. He would never understand why she still bothered with Thomas, even apologizing for his pestering. Thomas' nasty remarks were one thing he was glad he didn't have to put up with, any longer. It was another thing that he had left behind when he left Downton, though one of the few unpleasant. Thinking of Downton, most things that came to his mind were positive and even though he wasn't sorry to have moved on, he was indeed sad that he wasn't part of the everyday life, anymore. He felt like a fish out of water, surrounded by this group of people who knew so much about the each other. Sure he knew, that noticing every development in each other's lives was something that just came with living so close together and spending every day together.

Molesley had spotted a change in the way Daisy and Andy interacted with one another, but he couldn't pinpoint what had happened. What had been the trigger for the changed behaviour, had there even been one? For anyone who had been around those last weeks the difference was probably not even apparent, because it just came natural. For an outsider on the other hand, it was just as mysterious as the new, less sassy attitude of Mr. Barrow.

 _For an outsider_..., he was an outsider among this group of friends. He wanted to blend in again, however, the livery he was currently wearing didn't have the desired effect. He wanted to belong there and simultaneously didn't want to be there. It was paradox.

When the clock struck midnight and Molesley's thoughts were interrupted by the sound, everyone was silent for a moment or so before only the loud noises of chairs being pushed backwards, glasses being clinked and people cheerfully welcoming the New Year could be heard. It all died down only when Mr. Carson audibly cleared his throat and Mrs. Carson began to sing for everyone. One after another, the other servants started to chime in, rejoicing a new beginning.

Molesley joined them too, of course, but with a little less enthusiasm than was usual for him on such a merry occasion. His mind was just a little too preoccupied. In fact so much that he ceased to notice the slight frown with what Miss Baxter studied his face. He looked worried, she thought – no, irritated. Miss Baxter knew that something was not right, she had already noticed that Mr. Molesley had been even quieter than usually that day. It made her sad to see him any less than downright happy when he had every reason to be joyful. Something was definitely off, she was sure of that. Molesley couldn't fool her with that fake smile on his face, holding himself as if he was feeling out of place.

Molesley felt himself being watched. At first, he tried not to be bothered it, still after a few moments when the feeling didn't go away he turned only to be met with a concerned Miss Baxter. Of course, it was her. If he would have had to name one person in this room that would acknowledge his discomfort, it would have to be Miss Baxter.

He had long since given up on trying to explain to himself why she cared so much about him. He was grateful enough that she did. Often, he had the feeling that she was the only person in the world who had the slightest idea of what he was about. When he was the laughing stock to everyone else, Miss Baxter was always the one to see behind his awkward exterior. Just like now she was the one who had noticed his pretense. She seemed truly worried, so Molesley decided she deserved at least an explanation. But not in the crowded servant's hall.

So, in a moment when he thought no one was looking, he tugged Miss Baxter's arm cautiously and motioned her to follow him out of the servant's hall quietly. They had been standing at the far end of the table and while everyone was looking in the other direction, singing and indulging in punch, surely nobody would even notice they were gone. So fixated on each other, neither Miss Baxter nor Mr. Molesley were aware of the suspicious look Mrs. Patmore was giving them or Daisy's shocked expression when she saw them holding hands as they made their way towards the back door. The cook and her assistant shared a knowing look and decided to keep quiet. It was New Year's Eve after all and they could slide some slack.

Once outside, Baxter closed the door behind them. When she turned around to face Molesley again, he had already slumped himself down on one of the benches. He had dropped the facade of cheerfulness and was now sitting there with his eyes closed and his head leaning back against the stone wall. He didn't need to pretend when they were alone.

After some time he sighed and said, "I'm sorry for dragging you out here." She had wrapped her arms around her in a futile attempt to shield herself from the cold. "You must be freezing and just because I needed some fresh air", he tried to explain his sudden flight from the servants hall.

"Needed some fresh air?" she asked in disbelief, "Seriously, in there you looked as if you'd rather be anywhere else. Which would at least explain why you literally ran through the hallways, dragging me behind you."

„It's true", Molesley said, his voice higher than normally. He, himself, was the most surprised about this revelation. „Just now, inside, I really wished I was somewhere else. I felt so left out suddenly, so alienated, somehow. I guess, I've really gotten used to not being a footman anymore. To not being around anymore. That's strange, isn't it, when this was all I ever did until just a few months ago?"

„It's not strange at all", Miss Baxter said after thinking about his words for some time. It did make sense when she thought about it. He had finally found his true profession, a work he felt completely comfortable with. Everything else must be unsatisfying and boring.

„Every day you do something that you love, something you're really good at. Something you had fought so hard to achieve. It would be strange if you could still like this job here as much as you once did when you have the choice, now. No wonder that you feel out of place."

„You're right. Of course, you're right. How do you know me so much better that I understand myself, sometimes?" Molesley asked amazed, not for the first time, at how naturally understanding him came to her. Then again, everything about Miss Baxter amazed him.

„You give me too much credit, Mr. Molesley", she objected, shaking her head slightly as if the movement proved a point. „I was wrong when I asked you to come here for the festivities. You're everything but comfortable. I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have persuaded you ."

He wasn't uncomfortable, though. At least not, while she was around.

„Oh, but I am now. How could I be not comfortable, here with you? You're the only person I ever feel I can be totally myself with and I'm glad that I came back for the holidays. Because, if nothing else I got to spend some time with you", Molesley stood up from the bench and took a step forward. They were now standing only a few inches away from each other and both of them noticed that a small shiver ran through Miss Baxter's body. Whether it was from the cold winter air that had begun to creep through her dress or from the close proximity that they still had yet to get used to, they didn't know.

If he had thought that he could want nothing in his life more than to be a teacher, the woman in front of him was just proving him wrong. She was just standing there, her big eyes looking up curiously, the slightly raised eyebrows making it clear that she was waiting for him to say something more. In that moment, she was the most captivating human being he had ever laid eyes on.

„I wish we could spend more time together, you know. I miss our quiet evenings in the servant's hall and spending our half days in the village. I miss you."

As if to prove his point, he took a step closer to her and when he noticed that she still looked at him with a hint of confusion, he knew that he could not explain with words what he wanted her to know so badly. Taking a bold step had led him to success once, maybe it was about time to push his luck again.

He gently took hold of Miss Baxter's hand and when she shifted her eyes from him to their hands and back up to his face in silent question, he answered in the only way he felt capable of in that very moment. Hesitantly, he drew her a little closer, slowly adjusting to the feeling of their bodies so close to each other, and captured her lips with his. The kiss was cautious and tender and full of promises.

After a few moments, much too soon for Molesley's liking, Baxter pulled back a little and smiled against his lips. With as little movement as possible, afraid the moment could be ruined by the slightest of changes, Baxter opened her eyes and looked up. The brilliant smile that was gracing her lips would have made him fall in love with her all over again if he hadn't already been completely lost.

That second, Molesley felt happier than he ever had before. "I hope you know that I love you very, very much", he said with a quiet but steady voice. This just seemed so right that it didn't leave space for his usual nervousness.

"I do. We wouldn't be standing here, like this, if you didn't", she stated with a big smile on her lips and a loving look in her eyes, before she said the words he had been most looking forward to, "I love you, too, Joseph Molesley."

Molesley had thought that leaving service had been the biggest turn of his life, but now he was standing there in the courtyard with the woman he loved pressed closely against him, and he realized that this was a whole new level of happiness.

They remained like this a little while longer, Molesley's arms wrapped tightly around her in an attempt to shield her from the cold. It wouldn't have been necessary though, because Baxter seemed to radiate enough warmth for both of them from the inside. She had rested her head at his shoulder and sighed contently after some time before she reluctantly freed herself from the embrace. Midnight had long since passed and it was time to go back inside.

They rejoined the party in the servant's hall, celebrating the dawn of the upcoming year with the others and at the same time celebrating their very own new beginning. It would be a happy new year, indeed.

* * *

Once again, I like to say thank you for the reviews. It really makes my day every time to know that there are some people out there as weird as me who read and even like this stuff.

\- lizzie


	4. mind over matter

A/N: There are so many great quotes about age/ ageing that it's hard to choose from, so for this one-shot I decided for one that was always a favourite of mine. Because it's true and because I simply love word plays.

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Leroy "Satchel" Paige

The scene is from S5, Baxley obviously. What else?

I always hate it when scenes are left unfinished in a way, like when two people are talking and then they just cut to the next scene and you don't know if that conversation is really over yet and they part ways or not.

* * *

 _Thank heavens for Molesley_ , Miss Baxter thought as soon as he had stepped forward in the servants hall and rescued her from Thomas' bullying once again.

After they had been out of earshot from the other workers, he had inquired of course, what it was that Thomas wanted from her. Miss Baxter had only given him as little information as possible about the matter. _He thinks I know something about Mr. Bates_ , she had said and that she couldn't tell Lady Grantham about Thomas' behaviour towards her. Molesley had, in his never faltering kindness, accepted that she couldn't tell him any more about the matter, either. Even though he didn't understand what was going on between her and Thomas Barrow.

Baxter tried to offer him a small smile, it would reassure him that things were alright. Complicated, yes, but alright. Molesley said nothing, instead he leaned his head to one side, pressing his eyes together a little. She supposed he was contemplating what they had just talked about, slowly making up his own mind about it. Probably also thinking about what it could be that she might know about Mr. Bates that Thomas could use against the man. She had been rather cryptic in her answers, after all.

After a moment, though, Molesley began to move his head from one side to the other, and a little back in a more than unbecoming way. Baxter wondered what had urged the sudden movements.

„What is it?" She asked.

„What's what?" Molesley replied, his voice as unnervingly high as it always was when he was getting nervous about nothing.

Baxter watched him with concern, elaborating her question, „You're doing something funny with your head. Sort of, tilting it."

Dumbfounded, he tried to deny the movement, „I'm not, am I?" It was hopeless, though. The words left his mouth so fast that there was no way that the movement hadn't been intentional.

„How do you think I look?" Now, that was unexpected, Baxter thought. She couldn't make the connection between his strange behaviour and that question. His antics were starting to worry her.

„Why? Have you got a rash?" She asked him, frowning in concern.

„I've not got a rash", Molesley retorted, more than slightly taken aback by her insinuation.

„That's alright, then." Baxter blinked.

Instead of leaving the matter be, Molesley had decided it was time to elaborate even further, „No, what I meant was, ... how old do you say I am?"

He sounded rather defeated, Baxter noticed in his voice. This whole conversation was really getting more and more absurd with every second.

„I don't know, maybe 52?" She answered as honestly as she could. She couldn't have guessed that her answer would startle him, but that was how he looked all of a sudden when all he managed to say was, „Oh."

„Why? How old are you?" She softly wanted to know. She didn't know why but she was still a little concerned about him.

„Fifty-one", he stated. Molesley gave her a heartbreaking look. It was as if she had insulted him somehow by assuming him to be a year older than he actually was. She gave him a sympathetic smile when he sighed and slumped his shoulders a little.

It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed. Everybody who wasn't blind actually must have noticed how Molesley's hair had suddenly become much darker over the past two days. Most of the servants had been joking about it when he wasn't around and Baxter had found herself inwardly chuckling at his attempt to improve his appearance as well. Now, she felt bad for making fun of him, even if it was just in her mind. Obviously, Molesley had intended to make himself look younger and apparently, it had had the opposite effect. At least, if he believed her assumptions about his age. She felt bad for making him feel bad when all he ever was to her was kind.

She tried to make it up to him, this time giving him a real, bigger smile, „But you look good for 51, I'd say."

The nervous giggle Molesley was giving her in return did nothing to ease the awkwardness. It took him a few moments to find his voice again and say, „You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Why else would she compliment him? He was just an ageing fool who failed miserably at his attempt to look, … well, less ageing.

„No, I'm not", Miss Baxter said and there was such a simplicity in the tone of her voice that he believed her.

Before Molesley could even thank her for those words, Daisy appeared in the doorway. „Miss Baxter", the young woman called out, „her Ladyship's bell rang just a minute ago!"

On that note, Baxer collected herself immediately and hurried up towards Lady Grantham's room. Molesley instead, was left standing at the foot of the stairway for minutes after, staring at the long deserted stairs, thinking about how kind and caring Miss Baxter always was and how she always found the right words to say. He didn't mind now, that dying his hair had not helped at all to make him look younger. He also didn't notice himself being watched until he heard the harsh words of the underbutler, „Don't you have anywhere to be, Mr. Molesley? This is disgusting!", pointing at the stairs, no doubt referring to Molesley's daydreaming.

* * *

You know what would make me happy!

-lizzie


	5. On the Stairs

**A/N:** After I read a few Baxley stories with one or both of them getting drunk I wanted to give that a try as well. I had this outlined a little while ago but never got to actually write it until now. I blame it on the particularly period/ canon mood I'm in at the moment.

This takes place on the last night of Molesley working at Downton, with Mr. M hopefully being as lovely as can be and Baxter...well, just being her which should be enough to love her.

 **„When one door closes, another one opens."** \- Alexander Graham Bell

* * *

It was the last evening of Mr. Molesley's employment as a footman at Downton Abbey. The family had already gone up to bed and so Mr. Carson had allowed them to throw a small farewell-party downstairs. Of course, he wouldn't be gone completely, Mr. Molesley had told her a few days before when he had noticed Miss Baxter's downcast state of mind while she had been sitting in the servants hall, half-heartedly doing some mending. He wouldn't be out of the world, he had said, and that – if the occasion arised – he would come back to help out as a footman. Thankful as she was at the attempt to lighten her mood, she had graced him with a small smile. But it didn't reach her heart. He would still be gone and she would be left at the big house.

Everyone around her seemed to move forward these days. Anna was expecting and who knew if she would ever really come back to work or if she'd rather stay at home with her little one for a while? Daisy had finally taken her exams and if she wasn't mistaken, everything in the sweet girl's life was leading to her moving to Mr. Mason's farm for good soon. Hell, even Thomas had found another occupation after the struggle he'd been through at Downton Abbey recently.

It was a strange feeling that the world around her changed while for her time seemed to stand still and every day was like the other. The biggest change for her to come would be the fact that soon, she would spend her evenings in the servants hall alone, with no one next to her to read her from the newspaper while she was patiently sewing some buttons back onto her Ladyship's nightgowns over and over again. She didn't want to pity herself because it warmed her heart that Mr. Molesley had finally gotten the chance to do what made him happy. Teaching really was his true vocation, she would have to be blind not to see that when, in the past few weeks, it had been all he had talked about and his whole demeanor had changed in such a positive way. Still, Baxter wasn't able to shake off that small tinge of melancholy that creeped its way into her mind that night.

The small party was a lively affair and by the looks of it, everybody felt as happy as could be. Of course, they would be. Almost everyone downstairs had witnessed Molesley's path from butler to valet and then his career's downwards turn to a footman, before Daisy's enthusiasm about gaining knowledge herself had influenced him up to the point that it had given him the opportunity to change his own fate, too.

The Carsons were dancing merrily as were Andy and Daisy. Mrs. Patmore and Anna were laughing with Mr. Molesley at the far end of the table while Mr. Bates was seated across from them, smiling silently at his wife. He was happy for completely different reasons, but he was happy nonetheless.

They could laugh, they could be cheerful. They wouldn't lose their best friend. Within moments, everything around Miss Baxter seemed to become a blur. The music that was coming from the old gramophone faded out as well as the chatter around her. She was glad that no one took any notice of her, sitting by herself at the table, when silent tears began to make their way down her cheeks. Those three glasses of wine had most definitely made her sentimental, she reprimanded herself while she was ruthlessly brushing the tears away. She knew she shouldn't let it get to her like that but she had always hated good-byes. And this one would leave her particularly lost. It shouldn't, because he was nothing more than a friend, a companion for some time and now they would each go back to living their own lives. Maybe it was the unusal amount of alcohol she had had or maybe it was just the situation in general that made her admit, though only to herself, that he was really so much more than a friend. There had been a time not too long ago when Miss Baxter had sworn to herself that she would never let a man get as close to her heart again, but that was before she had come to Downton. Before she had met Joseph Molesley, the kindest soul in the world who had nothing but good intentions towards her. From the beginning on he had supported her in every way he could, he had given her the strength to speak up against Thomas, a strength she hadn't even known she had posessed. She had found herself liking that man far too much far too soon for her own liking, but had been afraid to acknowledge the true extend of her feelings until now because she feared where it could lead her.

In one way, it was unreasonable because if she was ever sure of one thing it was that Mr. Molesley would never intentionally do anything to harm her. But on the other hand, he had never given her the impression that his feelings might exceed friendship. What good would it do to tell him how she really felt when it might result in losing such a trusted and precious friendship? She couldn't bear losing him, that much she was sure of.

She couldn't bear the cheerful atmosphere any longer, either. Everybody except Thomas was engaged in some conversation or another and if the underbutler did indeed notice how she shakingly got up and slowly made her way outside he was for once kind enough not to mention it.

Just outside the servants hall, Baxter realized that those few steps had already exhausted her. She really was more than a little drunk, she thought horrified. She would definitely not make it all the way upstairs in that deranged state so she slumped down on the stairs in such an undignified manner that she was more than relieved all the others were occupied elsewhere. For a moment she closed her eyes and leaned her head to one side, resting it on the cold stone wall. She sighed, not being able to think of anything at all, so lost was she in her own world. When she inhaled deeply after some minutes to keep herself from crying again, she noticed the familiar scent of peppermint tea. Confused, she opened her eyes only to look into the frowning face of Mr. Molesley.

„I noticed you leaving, you looked rather unsteady so I thought you might want a cup", he said, his voice full of concern when he put the cup of tea on the step behind him.

„I think I've had a little much to drink", she whispered, clearly ashamed of the fact that she was noticably drunk.

„I noticed that, too", Molesley stated with a twinkle and continued trying to lighten the mood, „But who's to blame? It's not everyday that we have a party down here and everybody is so happy."

„I'm not happy", Baxter softly sobbed. Tears had formed in her eyes again. „How can I be happy when you will leave?" It took her all self-control to stop herself from saying 'when you will leave me'. But it wouldn't do for her to say something that personal to him.

Molesley tried to calm her down even when he knew it most likely wouldn't help. She was drunk. A sad drunk, he concluded when she began to shake with sobs, tears flying down her cheeks.

„Shh, it'll be okay", he soothingly said, softly rocking her next to him, „I told you I'm not out of the world. We'll still see each other often, I promise. I'll not leave you."

Molesley was glad for a moment that his friend was drunk and crying. He hoped she wouldn't pay too much mind to his exact words or else he would have blushed terribly after saying that last sentence. He didn't even know why he voiced it like that, but somehow he was sure that this was exactly what she needed. Miss Baxter was so much more to him than he could ever express to her. She had become the best friend he had ever had in those last few years, but she had also captured his heart in a completely different way so fast that at first, he hadn't really been able to grasp it. In fact, it had been far too soon into their acquaintance that he had developed those deeper feelings for her, and he had chastised himself for being so silly. When he had learned, later, what she had been through in the past, Molesley had felt bad for harbouring those feelings for her when all she needed was a good friend. So he had been patient and he had been that friend. And now, he would leave Downton and his chance of them ever growing into something more was lost.

Molesley shook his head to get rid if those foolish thoughts. Miss Baxter had never shown any signs of feeling anything else than friendship towards him. Why would she fall in love with him now? It was stupid. He was being stupid.

The shaking of Molesley's head must have alerted Miss Baxter somehow, because she was suddenly looking up at him with a watery smile. She was still clinging to him, their faces were so close that it made him feel slightly uneasy. He had always loved her big, brown eyes but being so unusually near he could literally get lost in them.

Molesley was so distracted that he almost failed to hear her soft voice saying, „I don't want to lose you". Neither of them knew how exactly she meant those words. There was no time to think about it any further when the next thing Molesley felt was her hand on his cheek, pulling him even closer. He swallowed hard when she closed her eyes again and slowly moved her head forward. It was only a matter of a split second in which he contemplated whether to give in to the sensation and kiss her or pull himself together and stop this.

Before her lips could brush his in the most gentlest of kisses, Baxter felt his hands on her side, pushing her away gently but firmly. She blinked and quickly turned her vision down. What an embarrassing situation, she thought, ashamed of herself for letting the alcohol influence her so much to almost give in to the urge of kissing him. This was the worst thing that could have happened – not only would she have to live with the rejection but she had ruined this wonderful friendship as well. Still shaking a little, Baxter got up from the stairs as fast as she could. She wanted to run away, no matter where to. Just far away from Mr. Molesley. Kind and unsuspecting Mr. Molesley who must have been shocked to hell by her attempt to kiss him.

The object of her thoughts was still sitting there next to her on the stairs. He hadn't said a word since he had pushed her away and almost looked as if he was in some kind of trance. His head snapped up though, when Baxter turned around and had to put her hand to the wall to support herself because she still felt dizzy from all the wine she had had earlier.

Molesley jumped up, much faster than she would have expected him to be able to and grabbed her arm before she could make her way up the stairs.

„Miss Baxter, wait please!" He called at her.

Well, she thought, she might as well hear him out, how much worse could it get?

„Yes, Mr. Molesley?" She couldn't bring herself to say she was sorry just yet. Not when she knew that an apology couldn't take them back to before she made that horrible mistake.

„Miss Baxter", he started again, this time a little less demanding. He was smiling at her when he said, „Miss Baxter, I'm sorry for giving you the impression that your... approach was unsought for, when indeed it wasn't. I just feel – well, I know you indulged in a little too much of that wine tonight and if anyone knows what strange things alcohol can make us do, it's me. I just don't want you to do anything you might regret in the morning."

That man was really incredible! He didn't want to push her into anything she might not want when it was so clearly her who had initiated the almost-kiss. And he had wanted to kiss her, too, if she hadn't been as intoxicated as she was. Baxter couldn't believe her luck. She knew she didn't deserve such a wonderfully, truly honorable man like Mr. Molesley and yet, here they were. She wished she had indulged in too much wine earlier as it seemed to make her bolder. Then, they wouldn't have had to wait until his last night at Downton to be able to let each other know their true feelings. Baxter looked up again and knew for certain that she wouldn't want to waste another single moment.

„I'm feeling rather sobered up, now, after all this. And I definitely know what I want." She didn't even have to wait for a reply. The beaming smile Molesley was presenting her was enough for her to pull him towards her for the second time that night and kiss him. It was just like she had imagined it, so soft and a little hesitant at first but also strong and full of love. Just like him.

When they pulled apart after some time, it was Mr. Molesley who spoke first. „I hope you know that we now have to thank Mr. Carson for letting us have the good wine tonight in the first place."

„Oh, don't you dare give Carson any credit when it's you I'm so absolutely, icredibly in love with", she replied playfully yet completely honest.

„I love you, too, Miss Baxter", he answered, just as equally truthful.

„Phyllis", she said, nodding encouragingly in a way to tell him that it was alright for him to address her by her given name, „I suppose it is okay if you call me Phyllis, now."

„Phyllis", he agreed. It was an incredible feeling to have him call her by her name in such a loving way. Never before had she felt so loved, so entirely complete. What had looked to become the saddest good-bye had turned out to be the best way to start something new. He would leave Downton the next morning, but he wouldn't leave her.

* * *

Please, please let me know what you think. I'd hate for it to be too soppy.

\- lizzie


	6. unexpected revelations

**Disclaimer** : DA is still not mine, sadly enough. I wish I owned these adorable characters.

 **A/N:** I wrote this when I needed a break from a lot of angsty stuff for another fic that made me rather emotional. So, it's just something that distracted me, some meaningless dialogue and a kinda cheesy ending to lighten my mood and hopefully that of the Baxley supporters out there, too.

You know, I'd love you forever if you hit the small button at the bottom and leave me a comment (aka review ;-) ).

* * *

He approached her that night while she was sitting in front of the fireplace in the servants hall after everyone else had gone to bed. With the bad news about the car crash at the race and the sudden death of Charles Rodgers, no one was really in a mood for a long night, it seemed.

It hadn't gone unnoticed to Molesley that Ms. Baxter had been quiet all evening. Though she was seldomly one to lead a conversation among the colleagues, she would normally put in a comment or two whenever she thought fit. Tonight however, she had been extraordinarily unengaged in the talks surrounding her. Molesley knew that he shouldn't be able to read her absentminded look as one of distress, it was everything but appropriate for him to know a co-worker so well. But more often than not, Molesley couldn't help himself but to observe the ladies maid trying to read her emotions and had therefore developed rather a sense for guessing her current state of mind.

In order not to startle Ms. Baxter from her thoughts, Molesley pushed his chair backwards loudly when he stood up.

"Oh, Mr. Molesley, you're still here", Baxter turned towards him upon hearing the scratching sound, "I thought everyone had gone upstairs already."

"They have", Molesley returned, "I wanted to call it a night, too. But then, I … are you alright?"

"Of course, I'm alright. Just a bite tired, I guess", she replied but Molesley didn't believe her words. They didn't reflect her behavior that evening. Still, he chose not to comment on it directly. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable by catching her in a lie.

"Who wouldn't be, after such days?", he almost jokingly returned, attempting to lighten the mood a little. He didn't want Ms. Baxter to go to bed sad.

"I guess you're right", she sighed, "it all was a bit overwhelming."

"You've been unusually quiet tonight", Molesley blurted out before he could even stop himself. "I – I mean, everyone was talking about the accident and, well … you've been there so I wondered w-why you didn't share your thoughts."

Baxter attempted to smile at Molesley and while he knew it was honest he also saw how difficult it came to her tonight. She cared for the man in front of her and she knew he cared for her, and she didn't want to disappoint him but the last days really had sent her thoughts spinning and she wasn't sure what to say – or what he wanted to hear from her. It wasn't just the horrible crash that occupied her mind but something that she and Anna had talked about the night before.

"My mind had been somewhere else, I suppose", she shrugged and at the same time wondered how long it would take for Molesley to inquire further. But this time, he didn't. He probably had realized how hard it was to get an answer out of her that night and only smiled sadly at her instead. So sadly in fact, that it almost broke her heart to see him care so much.

"I don't think I should tell you this, because it's not official yet, but I trust you won't tell anyone?" Baxter cryptically asked.

Molesley just blinked, trying to access the words until he noticed that his friend was waiting for some kind of response. Most likely some kind of agreeing to keeping quiet. He nodded fiercely, at this point being sure to keep quiet about whatever she asked him to if it gave him the opportunity to find out what the source of Ms. Baxter's distress was.

"It's Anna, I mean Mrs. Bates. She told me last night that -", Baxter paused there for a moment and Molesley noted a strangely content look on her face, almost like the hint of a smile but not quite, "she's expecting." Now, she grinned open wide upon the revelation of the younger woman's happy news.

"That's great news, isn't it?" Molesley said, excited but also with the thought in mind that Ms. Baxter had seemed a little down about something earlier.

"Oh yes, yes that's great news all right. I'm happy for her – and Mr. Bates, of course. After everything they deserve a little happiness."

Molesley eyed his friend suspiciously. He was suddenly determined to cheer her up somehow. "You deserve to be happy, too!", he exclaimed.

"I know you mean well, Mr. Molesley", she sighed, feeling very tired, "but I can't be entirely convinced, I'm afraid."

Not for the first time since they knew each other, Molesley chose not to comment on the obvious insecurities Baxter still had and the low self-esteem that clouded her judgment and kept her from accepting that she, like everyone else, deserved a good life.

They kept quiet for some minutes in which Molesley pondered whether he should stay and keep Ms. Baxter company or rather follow the others up and call it a night. When a peculiar thought crossed his mind, he chose to take a seat near the fireplace, too, and raised his voice again, "Are you sad because it's Anna a-and ...", it wasn't only his voice that failed him mid-sentence but much more so his courage. He shouldn't even think what he had in mind, let alone say it, but he had began and judging the look in Ms. Baxter's face she was eagerly waiting for him to elaborate. "What I mean was, with Anna being, you know, pregnant, would – well, if I was a woman it would certainly make me think about children, too."

Molesley couldn't read her neutral expression. He thought that most likely she was in her mind trying to find out what he had been trying to say with all his ramblings and stuttering. He could really be such a dimwit from time to time.

But then she said with a smile and a voice that made the words sound so much more natural, "Are you asking me if I'm depressed because she's going to have a child and I don't?"

"It was a stupid thought, I'm sorry", Molesley admitted, feeling stupid and rather shy about the turn the conversation had taken.

"No, it wasn't", Baxter objected. She hated to see how Molesley always tended to talk ill of himself. If only he could see what a great person he was. "Of course, I've thought about it – once or twice in my life, but I made a choice when I decided to work in service, and I wouldn't have it any other way", she added as soon as she saw him make a face that implied he felt bad for her.

He was feeling rather straightforward when he said, "I think you would have been a perfect mother."

It was clear to Baxter that he meant what he said, with Molesley she could always tell by the way he spoke whether he was uncertain about something or altogether convinced. She didn't want to object him, but she didn't quite want to agree either, so she tilted her head in thought and replied, "Maybe you're right. But then again, I was never in the position to decide actively on staying in service or starting a family. So, there's really nothing for me to regret."

"If you say so", Molesley murmured, still thinking that Baxter had looked a little sad when he had approached her and still wanting to find out the reason.

"Yes, I say so", she almost snapped before her voice went softer again when she continued, "We both know that there are quite some things I regret in my life, but not having children isn't one of of them. You know, not all women are destined to be mothers, and the last thing I would have wanted is to spend my life as a farmer's wife with more children then sheep. I am perfectly content where I am now."

"Then, what made you so sad? Please don't try to deny it, I have been watching you and I know that look", Molesley once more tried to get through to his friend in finding out what had bothered her so much. But he believed her now that the subject of children had nothing to do with it.

"I wasn't sad, just a bit – I don't know, emotional? Anna and I were there, you know. We saw the burning car and how Mr. Talbot tried to save his friend, but he was too late. The flames were already everywhere", she explained. Molesley was glad she was finally opening up a little when she went on, "Something like this, it makes you think about your own life, where you stand, what you want. I realized that I should use every moment because tomorrow could be too late. Just like you do."

"Me?", Molesley asked, confused about how she came to that strange conclusion now.

"Yes, you. You're taking a chance by becoming a teacher, you take the risk because this is what you really want to do. I couldn't be more proud of you. Please don't think I'm not only because I didn't comment on it earlier when everyone was talking about it. Which I'm sorry for, I should have congratulated you right away but I – well, my mind was elsewhere."

Yes, she could have said something sooner but that didn't matter at all to Molesley who could right then only think of one thing: she was proud of him. Something, he had never thought he would hear anybody say to him, let alone someone he liked as much as he liked Ms. Baxter. "It doesn't matter, you've said something now. It's true, I'm glad I grabbed this opportunity, but that's only because I've had such great support from you."

Baxter shook her head, but she smiled nonetheless upon Molesley's words, "Will you ever stop selling yourself short? I wish I was as brave as you."

It always wondered him how Ms. Baxter could see things like bravery in him and failed to see that she herself was just as brave, if not more so, he thought. "But you are brave", he objected, "you've built a new life for yourself, taking the risk of telling her Ladyship the truth about your past and telling me and agreeing to testify against that man in court. You don't want to see it yet, but you are brave and I know you could do anything you wanted."

"There's not much I would want to change. Like I said, I am quite happy with my life now."

Molesley didn't want to let go that easily, though. He knew Ms. Baxter to be a person who was rather content with what she had instead of wishing for something more. It was a large contrast to the way she had acted back when she had stolen those jewels from her former employer, and the fact that she was so very different from her actions only proved to Molesley that she had only acted upon Mr. Coyle's instructions. "But there must be something you would wish for if you had the choice?"

She frowned and Molesley gave her a minute or so to think until she said, "You're right, there is something. But I'm not even sure if I would want to change that because, as it seems, I'm really not as brave as you want to think me to be."

She took a deep breath and watched her friend for a while, only to continue, "The thing is, there is someone I like very much. More than I should, I'd say, because he is only a friend. And I wish I could tell him that because until now, I never said a thing and I'm afraid … well, I don't want to – I can't lose him."

To say that he was surprised would have been the biggest understatement of his life. In fact, Molesley didn't have a clue how to respond to that. It took him a moment to grasp the full extend of what she had just told him, but when comprehension hit, it took him everything not to break down right there and then. Molesley felt a sudden tinge inside himself and wondered if this was what heartbreak felt like. Ms. Baxter was having feelings for someone – someone who was not him, obviously. And there she was, basically asking him to support her. When he blinked he noticed that tears had already formed in his eyes and he hurried to turn away, so that she would not see them.

He was feeling like hell, but Molesley half-heartedly collected himself. It had been him who had pushed her into telling him this and she had after all told him he was brave, so he would not be a coward now and back out just because things didn't go his way. Anyway, he should have been used to that by now, Molesley thought, it was most of the time that things didn't go his way so what had made him think that it would ever be different? If anything had made him come to the conclusion that Ms. Baxter would feel for him like he did for her then it was only his own imagination. Molesley had lived in is own world for too long, a world in which he interpreted every smile, every gesture as so much more than it apparently was. It was like being hit by a cold storm unsuspectedly to realize now that it had all been just that – his imagination.

Making sure that his voice sounded stronger than he felt in that moment, Molesley turned back to the woman in front of him and whispered, "You should tell him, I think you should. Because, if you don't you will forever think about the change you might have made. In the end, there's nothing we regret more than the chances that we didn't take."

"You're right, as always you're right", Baxter agreed. She had watched him those last few minutes and was worried when she saw his expression change so drastically. In the first moment, she had feared that it had been wrong of her to say what she had told him but then, when she had seen the glimmering tears in his eyes that he had failed to hide away, it had occurred to her that somehow he had gotten her words completely wrong, so it was for her to make things right as soon as possible. "You always know what to do or what to say. You know me so well. That's one reason I love you so much."

"You what? But you just said th-that ...", Molesley cried out. Seeing Ms. Baxter standing in front of him, nervously chewing on her lips and waiting for a decent reply, he slowly put two and two together, concluding that it had been him who she was talking about. He could hit himself for drowning in self-pity when he should have just listened to what she had said between the lines.

"Like I said, I don't want to lose any more time, and I've been quiet because I couldn't make up my mind about telling you all this, but you supported me and encouraged me and that made me realize once more how much I care for you, and that made me tell you."

"You m-mean, you … Me?", he stuttered, not even noticing that Baxter had taken hold of his hands in the meantime to try to calm him down a little, "I don't – I … I mean, I love you, too." And, as if to prove his point, he stood up, pulling Ms. Baxter with him from her own chair. For a moment he was still holding her hands but then he freed himself from the touch and raised one hand up to her cheek. Baxter followed his movement with her eyes slowly, then raised her face to his to meet his gaze. She wrapped her arms around him tightly when she noticed how Molesley's hand softly pulled her closer to him. Giving in to the intimacy of the quietness that surrounded them, she closed her eyes and their lips met in a soft, hesitant kiss. It felt as if the whole room around them was vanishing and all that mattered was the couple wrapped closely together by the fireplace.


	7. The new suit

Another one of my Baxley one-shots, inspired by this incorrect downton quote from the tumblr person with the same name.

 _ **Molesley** : *trying on a new suit* How do I look? _

_**Baxter** : Well, speaking as a single woman, who is available, I have to say you look really good. _

Takes place the summer after season 6 ended.

* * *

It was the day before the summer break from school and Mr. Molesley had invited them to come and see the children getting their grades. It was a right ceremony, he had said when he had come up to the Abbey a week before, and he would speak there, so Anna, Mr. Bates and Ms. Baxter had agreed to come. Or, Anna and Ms. Baxter had gladly agreed to go and Mr. Bates had only come because he didn't want to get on the wrong side of his wife.

Now, a week later, he almost regretted his good intentions towards Anna as it was now him who was stuck with a nervous Mr. Molesley only minutes before the whole ordeal would begin. The teacher was to say some opening words and had made a big fuzz out of it, preparing a speech and everything. It was no wonder he was on the verge of a breakdown. And there was nothing that would help the man to calm down, not even Bates' reassurance that his friends would be in the audience. Instead, he preferred to go on and on and on about his new suit that he had solely aquired for this occasion. If he was not being careful, at least the jacket would be ruined soon, with all the fumbling Molesley did.

The women were no great help, either. They had taken their seats already, getting their way out of the useless task to try and calm Molesley by telling him they would save him a seat for later. However, he noticed them glancing in his general direction, whispering animatedly. It was time for him to go back there, he supposed.

„Poor Mr. Molesley", Anna said sympathetically, „He looks rather nervous, don't you think?"

Baxter nodded in agreement, frowning a little. „Yes, I suppose he is. It's a great deal for him to speak in front of the parents and teachers. But he will be alright." She wasn't quite sure if she said that to assure Anna or rather to assure herself that Molesley would be indeed alright.

„Probably. At least he looks smart enough. Is that a new suit he's wearing?"

„Must be", Baxter nodded her head in neutral agreement, then she intensified her watch towards Molesley and said, in an equally unreadable tone, „Yes, it is new, or at least he has never worn it before. I must say he looks good in it."

Anna shared a suspicious look with her husband who had only just joined them and was about to take a seat before the ceremony started. In a hushed tone, so that Ms. Baxter wouldn't hear her, she whispered, „Do you think it strange, too, that she knows Molesley's wardrobe so well or is that only me?"

But Mr. Bates, being the quiet, unfathomable person that he often was, gave only so much as a hint of a grin and chose not to comment on that. Anna turned back to the woman on her other side, who was now busy watching Molesley with a sympathetic expression, frowning and biting her lip which made her look as if she was feeling the man's tension herself. Most likely, Baxter wouldn't have heard Anna's words even if she had shouted them through the room, so engulfed was she in staring at the teacher.

„If he only wasn't so insecure. I know he can do this, He just can't see it himself", Baxter continued. It physically hurt her to see Mr. Molesley doubting himself and his abilities once again. She had hoped, that with his new job as a teacher, he would get more confident about his profession. She knew that it was what he wanted and how much he loved it, all the more it made her wonder why he was so anxious today, when it was no different to his usual day-to-day job.

„Maybe you should tell him that. Some words of reassurance might help", Anna suggested, but Mr. Bates interfered.

„They won't. I've tried to calm the man down for the last 5 minutes but he wouldn't listen. Chatted away about that new suit of his instead, as if I'm interested in the latest tweet fashion", he grumbled.

„I bet he would listen to Miss Baxter more than to whatever odd advice you've had for him", Anna snapped, giving her husband a meaningful look which was supposed to keep him quiet. If she wanted Ms. Baxter to go over to where Molesley stood and talk to him, her own husband objecting her was less than useful.

„Please don't fight because of this", Baxter now joined in to the conversation again, „it's about to begin, now."

Around them, many of the voices had died down already. As most of the audience consisted of parents of the students, there was a great interest in what was about to go on in the front. The three stopped talking, too. Mr. Bates looked unimpressed and a tad bored, he was only there because Anna had urged him to and he never wanted to disagree with his wife.

Anna next to him had her fingers crossed in her lap, silently hoping that all would go well for Mr. Molesley. Bates smiled at the superstition but let her be – she was as kind as always and this was her way of trying to support the man from afar.

Baxter next to her had leaned forward in her seat when Molesley was walking up the stage. She looked as if she was eagerly awaiting his words and simultaneously wishing herself up there to literally lead him through that welcoming speech. But something else had mixed with the concern about her friend and if Baxter had known how evident the adoration in her eyes was for Anna, she presumably would have tried to restrain her emotions better.

* * *

While Molesley was walking up the few stairs that led to the podium of the school hall he was thinking of the people in the audience. Or, one person in particular. And while he wondered why she hadn't approached him before the ceremony started, the walk up to the middle of the stage seemed to be unusually long. He must have been a rather funny sight, tripping awkwardly over his own feet, but he just couldn't concentrate on walking much when he could feel that concerned, yet hopeful gaze on his person.

Molesley straightened himself behind the speaker's desk and took a few breaths to calm himself down. He'd better get this over with, it wasn't about him, anyway, but about the students who were left into the summer break afterward. Once more, he fuddled on his jacket and realized with a fright that he didn't have his notes with him. There was not much time for him to panick any further because when he was frantically scanning the room for something, anything to help him out of this situation, he found his eyes locked with Ms. Baxter's calm, expectant expression. She had a soft smile on her lips and her eyes showed something he couldn't quite name. Could it be that she was _proud_ of him? But Molesley only shook his head slightly to get rid of that thought. It wouldn't do to get lost in wishful thinking, especially not since it tended to make him even more fidgety than he already was.

He would simply have to manage without his notes. But as it was only a short welcoming speech, he supposed he would have to get through it making the words up as he spoke. Bracing himself for the usual stutter that would most likely accompany the spontaneous speech soon, he took a deep breath.

„ _Welcome_ ", he said, his voice steadier than he feels, „ _I would like to welcome you all to Downton School, parents and visitors, but most of all my greetings go to the students. We are here for all of you today, because we would like to celebrate your achievements in the school …_ "

* * *

Much to his own surprise, Molesley had made his way through the short speech without so much as an awkward pause. He had left the stage as soon as he was finished, leaving Mr. Dawes, the head teacher, to hand each child their grade papers. Now, he was standing in the back of the room watching everything from the side. He was proud of those children, even though he'd only been a part of their way through school for a short time he knew he had made an impression on some of them. He wouldn't boast about it, that just wasn't him, but but it still gave him confidence to know that it had been the right decision to become a teacher, at it made him proud to know that the students liked and respected him – it wasn't something he had been used to experience in his life as a servant. True, people had accepted him wherever he had been, but it had been different and in the end, most of them had thought him more or less a fool. That was, until she had come to Downton. Miss Baxter. She had been the first person since his parents who gave him the feeling that he was something special. Phyllis. In his mind, he preferred to call her Phyllis because that was the only time he could acknowledge that he felt so closely connected to her that Ms. Baxter simply sounded too distant.

He searched the room for the person who occupied his thoughts so often, only to find the space in the audience next to Anna and Mr. Bates suddenly empty. For the second time that day, Molesley was on the edge of panicking. Because, for the second time that day he was missing something he desperately wanted to cling to in order to get through the morning. Had he disappointed her in some way? Had she left because of him? In his head, all kinds of scenarios went running, none of which showed him in a very positive light.

„I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this, Mr. Molesley", a gentle and so familiar female voice next to him spoke up, „but I am proud of you. You did so very well up there."

There she was, standing next to him and smiling brighty as if … well, as if she was truly happy, Molesley concluded the thought. It took him a moment to find back his voice before he could say, „Of course, you might. I'm glad you think I didn't make a fool of myself. I forgot my speech, you know? I've had it all planned and written down and then, I forgot it."

He looked suddenly so crestfallen, so disappointed in himself, and Baxter knew that for some reason he must have thought that she would be disappointed in him, too. „I know", she told him, „I saw you having troubles to find a start. I felt bad for not having been able to help you somehow."

Molesley realized her feeling guilty about that by the way how she quickly turned away from him. „Oh, please don't", he quickly replied, shaking his head, „This is just the way I usually am, nervous, forgetful, anxious."

Baxter mimicked his movement when she answered, shaking hear head, although not as vigorously, „That might be the way you want to see yourself, but it's not how you are. You're kind and brave and intelligent and since you've become a teacher, your confidence has grown so much. I wish you could see that."

„It seems I'm only ever confident when it's not important. Like in the classroom", Molesley returned.

„It always matters", Baxter tried to assure him, elaborating, „Especially in the classroom, it matters. Those children look up to you and it gives them confidence, too, to know that you with your background have made it to become a teacher."

„That's not quite what I meant", he said, turning his face into a grimace when he thought about what he was going to say next, „It's just … unfamiliar situations tend to get to me. Like today – it made me nervous."

„Oh Mr. Molesley, but that's just normal. We can't always be perfect. What matters is how we deal with our insecurities. Instead of walking away you faced the situation, and I've never seen anything as brave as that."

In an attempt to hide his own slight discomfort about being so openly complimented, Molesley giggled until something crossed his mind. „I've brought this new suit for today, to impress people and probably to distract them from … well, I don't know what from. I guess I thought this would help me catch someone's attention, which is silly because really, it would still be me hiding behind the new clothes and what woman would go looking for a man at a school celebration, anyway? It's even sillier now that I'm talking about it because obviously, every woman who is here today is a mother to one of the school kids, which means they're definitely not searching for potential husbands and if they were, they would most likely not look among their children's teachers. And now I'm embarrassed because I'm rambling and -"

Molesley stopped dead in his tracks when he was interrupted by Ms. Baxter's hearty laughter. She stood next to him, clapping her hands over her mouth, a futile try to stop the sound, and couldn't keep herself from laughing out loud. Tears had already formed in her eyes which made Molesley wonder whether she was laughing at or about him. He was sure it was the latter and when he noticed that many people had turned around to face them at the giggling sounds emerging from Ms. Baxter, he went even redder around the ears in embarrassment.

After a moment, she realized that her sudden outburst had interrupted the ongoings on the podium and immediately stopped her laughing, silently mouthing an excuse to the general audience. Molesley who had patted her arm, trying to calm her down, grabbed it now and pulled her out of the room behind him.

Outside in the corridor, he whispered, „What in heaven's name was that about?"

The snapping tone sobered her up instantly, and with a sheepish smile she apologetically answered, „I'm sorry Mr. Molesley, I don't know what has gotten into me."

„You were laughing at me. When I had already made a complete fool of myself you were laughing at me", he sadly said.

„No, I wasn't. I would never laugh at you", Baxter replied honestly, „It was about what you said, I realized something … funny, I guess."

„Funny? Other than me being as hopeless as ever?", Molesley inquired, not being able to make something out of the strange situation.

„But you're not hopeless. In fact, you're everything but because your plan worked. You did manage to catch one woman's attention at least."

„Really? You think that?" he interrupted, not quite believing the words.

„I think a lot of things. For example, I think you don't need a fancy suit to catch a woman's attention. And I think you're not hiding behind your new clothes but rather that they compliment your personality perfectly. You do look rather dapper in that suit, it's high quality but not too obvious. Just like you. And I think it's quite ironic that in a room full of school children's mothers, whose attention you for some reason tried to get, there is one single woman whose attention you'll always have."

When she had finished, Baxter only kept staring at the man in front of her. After they had left the school hall, Molesley had in the spur of the moment pushed her against the corridor wall where she was standing now, looking up into his eyes and trying to read his thought in them. But he neither showed a reaction nor did he say anything and she was beginning to wish she was somewhere else when she realzied that, in his typical clueless way, Molesley had probably not quite grasped what she told him.

Smiling skittish, she reached up to hold his collar at which he was starting to fumble again. It was making her nervous to see that he was nervous enough to do this. So, he did have an idea what she was talking about and not even his half-questioning look could confound her. There was really only one way to find out for sure if he was thinking what she was thinking. „I always want to be there, if you have me, that is", and then, upon seeing that it still hadn't clicked, „I love you."

Molesley's confusion turned to disbelief and theninto something that could only be described as utter adoration for the woman in front of him. „I – I don't know w-what to say", he stuttered, „except, I love you, too."

They were standing so close together already that all it would take was for her to pull him down a little or for him to lean in just a bit more and their lips would touch. Both of them were painfully aware of that but jumped away from each other as soon as they heard clatter from inside. The ceremony was over and soon the corridor was filled with people. It was even more awkward to be the only silent people in a room full of chatter than it had been to be the only ones laughing in a silent environment.

While they had been snapped out of their own world by the sudden noise, Molesley's hand still lingered on Baxter's upper arm and if Mr. Dawes, who approached them a moment later, had noticed it he chose not to mention it.

„Ah, there you are, Mr. Molesley", the head teacher said, „and Ms. Baxter, are you quite alright?"

She supposed that he was referring to her unusual behaviour from before and was about to nod when the man continued, „You do look a bit flushed if I might say so. Maybe a bit of fresh air would do you good?"

Baxter found herself agreeing before she could think about it. This was embarrassing. She had felt her cheeks burn but hoped that it wouldn't show. „You are right, I do feel a bit dizzy. Would you mind … could you spare Mr. Molesley for a minute, because I'd -"

„Yes, yes, of course. He will keep an eye on you. Will you, Molesley? Make sure the lady's feeling better", Dawes told them, shushing them outside.

Once they were out of view of the headmaster, Baxter turned to make sure they weren't watched and pulled Molesley behind her into a deserted hallway. It was him who was pushed against the stone wall this time which left him looking typically confused.

„I thought you weren't feeling well, outside it the other direction" he stated.

„I'm not dizzy, silly", Baxter explained her actions, „I just wanted us to get out of there, because I do believe there is some unfinished business we'd both rather attend to."

Her slightly sly smile was all it took for Molesley to realize what exactly she meant and so it took him only a moment to put his hands around her waist an pull her a little closer to him. Baxter was still smiling but had turned her face downwards, unexpectedly shy all of a sudden.

He lifted one hand to rest on her chin and pull her face up a little so that their eyes locked for a moment. Baxter saw her own love reflected in Molesley's eyes and it was all that kept her from restraining herself any further. She wrapped her arms around Molesley's neck before she gave in to the sensation of his lips on hers. As he pulled her even closer to his body, deepening the kiss, Baxter knew that she had never felt so loved as in that moment.

„I love you", Molesley said after they pulled apart reluctantly.

It was strange how those three simply words could mean the world.

* * *

I'd love to know your thoughts if you made it this far down.

\- lizzie


End file.
